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And here I thought the fabulous parties and home decorating were the gays’ secret weapons

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By Adam Bink

OneNewsNow, a conservative website, has a poll on why “homosexuals” have so much power. Results:

For those who can’t see, “Satan is on their side” wins with 44% of the vote, followed by “Intimidation”, “Half truths” and “Money”. Good thing they don’t know about our secret weapons: fabulous party-planning and home decorating we use to impress elites into loving us! Shh!

Maybe we should have a poll here on why homophobes can’t get their act together. My vote is for “ignorance”, honestly. I think the lesson out of people moving to support equality — whether that’s marriage or simply not wanting to throw your gay kid out of the house anymore — is people learning what it’s like.

40 Comments

  • 1. Menergy  |  April 10, 2011 at 9:58 am

    Much of that 44% came from individuals voting deliberately for "Satan" to screw with the foolish poll anway….many gays/lesbians and probably straight allies over on Joe.My.God went to the site and voted that way!

    It's actually probably how many fundamentalist conservatives think anyway…..

  • 2. Southern Bell  |  April 10, 2011 at 9:59 am

    Agreed. We need to do something like the "House Swap" shows on television (just to keep things fair of course) where someone on the anti-lgbt side is 'attached to the hip' of an lgbt individual for a day or two then vice-versa so we facilitate that exposure while also creating dialogue between two opposing individuals (can you REALLY be completely silent for more than a day at a time?). Question is, How do you get anti-lgbt and lgbt individuals to hang out together while still allowing for free will?

    I'm really surprised at the above-mentioned poll btw. Mostly surprised that that was even a choice of response.

  • 3. TomTallis  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:08 am

    Wow! They completely omitted our undeniable fabulousness!

  • 4. Kathleen  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:13 am

  • 5. JonT  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Yes, JMG did call for a freeping of that poll some days ago. I voted for satan too :)

  • 6. the lone ranger  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:16 am

    I guess we should be flattered that we're afforded "half-truths" instead of "no truths". Maybe they are slowly coming around?

  • 7. Kate  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:16 am

    I thought Satin was on our side.

  • 8. Ed Cortes  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:16 am

    I've got to follow this one.

  • 9. Sagesse  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:21 am

    Isn't that a leading question?

  • 10. Ronnie  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:28 am

    Well:
    1.) I have next to no money.
    2.)The "half truth" thing is subjective & maybe needs to be elaborated. JMHGO.
    3.) "Intimidation"…..???….bwaaaaaaaaa…yeah ok.
    4.) I don't believe in "Satan" so that's moot.

    all in all…..FAIL…..(rolls eyes)…. 8 /

    "Maybe we should have a poll here on why homophobes can’t get their act together. My vote is for “ignorance”, honestly."………I concur……<3….Ronnie

  • 11. Rhie  |  April 10, 2011 at 10:38 am

    Hehe probably.

    Oh, if I had a dime for every time I heard someone justify behavior because God or the Devil made them do it I would be rich.

  • 12. Phil L  |  April 10, 2011 at 11:08 am

    Hmmm… it doesn't surprise me that the polls on that website have absolutely no options for differing opinions. All of the answers basically yell out, "I agree with you!"

    There was one on the Arkansas Supreme Court adoption rulings and pretty much all of the answers implied that the Supreme Court was out of line.

  • 13. Samantha  |  April 10, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Satin is not only on my side, but it's on the whole darn bed!

  • 14. paul  |  April 10, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    Did anyone see Joy Behar interview Liza a while back? She asked Liza why she thinks "the gays" love her so much and loved her mother so much too. Liza pondered for about 5 seconds and then commented "because they have good taste". I knew Liza was a smart cookie…smart people know why we have so much power and stupid ones don't get it….and have to scramble for answers that fit their "simple" belief system…and that they can understand.
    Plain & simple.

  • 15. AB  |  April 10, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    I would have guessed that this was another one of those Brian Brown/NOM/Gary C. Lawrence polls that is "totally legitimate" (wink wink).

  • 16. Straight Ally #3008  |  April 10, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    http://www.hark.com/clips/kprcrcxptt-could-it-be-

  • 17. Dan  |  April 10, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    yea satan totally told me to vote for him too

  • 18. Southern Bell  |  April 10, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    I know this is off topic & something that has recently been discussed but this is my home state and I want to make sure people know that an anti-gay constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage was filed Wednesday in the North Carolina House of Representatives. It stated:

    "'Marriage is the union of one man and one woman at one time. No other relationship shall be recognized as a valid marriage by the State,'” while the Senate’s version says" no other 'domestic legal union' will be recognized."

    If passes, amendment would be placed on next November's ballot for public vote.
    http://goqnotes.com/10680/anti-gay-amendment-file

  • 19. Ed  |  April 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Sad….but it mirrors what is happening here in Indiana. The even sadder part? All the money wasted on these bans, when they are (rightfully so) considered unconstitutional….
    OT….my boyfriend and I had a wonderful day today….we got up, cleaned around the house, and helped each other prepare and cook food on the BBQ…..yep….we fulfilled the "gay agenda" today…..(sarcasm)…..
    Forget that….we LOVE each other, and had a GREAT day with each other today :)

  • 20. Michelle Evans  |  April 10, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    The Devil made me do it!!

  • 21. Michelle Evans  |  April 10, 2011 at 2:18 pm

    You forgot the whole "Take Over the World!" part. I know, you had to be properly fed before all that work. :-)

  • 22. Ed  |  April 10, 2011 at 2:23 pm

    Oh right!!!! well, I am reading news online, and he is watching Roseanne on Netflix…..yep! totally preparing to take over the world……

  • 23. BK  |  April 10, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    Haha, good one.

  • 24. BK  |  April 10, 2011 at 6:01 pm

    I vote for ignorance, following that is fear.

  • 25. Rich  |  April 10, 2011 at 9:27 pm

    Just shared this with my (straight) co-teacher. After a healthy laugh, his response: "We'll they better give up now. You got the power on your side." Hee Haw!

  • 26. Chris in Lathrop  |  April 10, 2011 at 9:56 pm

    Thank you for your votes! Soon as I have delivery of your immortal souls, my full power will be bestowed upon you and your movement. Hail, me! jk

  • 27. Ronnie  |  April 11, 2011 at 12:23 am

    Kristin Chenoweth, Glee And Modern Family Among Those Honored At GLAAD Media Awards In Los Angeles http://www.towleroad.com/2011/04/glaad-media-awar

    Congratulations to all the winners….Here is the beautiful, hilarious, & talented Kristin Chenoweth receiving the Vanguard Award….her speech is awesome….every part of it….<3…Ronnie:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUt2jyfhVaU

  • 28. Heath  |  April 11, 2011 at 12:43 am

    Of course, if Satan were really on our side, Glee would be much funnier. So would Salt Lake City. ;)

  • 29. Ann S.  |  April 11, 2011 at 1:30 am

    §

  • 30. Jon  |  April 11, 2011 at 2:26 am

    Oh look, it's another "news" organization.

    Like Fox "News".

    Flash! Calling yourself a news organization doesn't make you a news organization.

  • 31. grod  |  April 11, 2011 at 3:12 am

    @Michelle Evans
    Just how does "The Devil made me do it!!" assist in our gearing up "towards the central mission of this site. I want everyone to stay and make helpful contributions towards the mission of this blog." (Adam's guideline #2) Just saying

    But then just how does my pointing this out positively contribute either. Humour, as Adam surely realizes, builds cohesion. G.

  • 32. Don in Texas  |  April 11, 2011 at 4:18 am

    Have I been banned from this website??

  • 33. Ronnie  |  April 11, 2011 at 7:15 am

    Dolly Parton's speech & presenting the Stephen F. Kolzak Award to Robert Greenblatt, the Chairman of NBC Entertainment, at the GLAAF Media Awards…..<3…Ronnie:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embed

  • 34. Ronnie  |  April 11, 2011 at 7:17 am

    woah?!….typo alert…..GLAAD Media Awards…. :"> …Ronnie

  • 35. grod  |  April 11, 2011 at 9:05 am

    @Kate
    Is that a debatable religious assertion, a belief?

  • 36. grod  |  April 11, 2011 at 9:10 am

    @Don in Texas
    Surely that would not be possible. You always bring a informed, insightful perspective. How many other Texan contributors do we have. Graeme

  • 37. RikerBear  |  April 11, 2011 at 9:12 am

    Satin as in the fabric, not Satan as in the 'God of the Earth, father of all lies' :-)

  • 38. Chrys  |  April 11, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Wow. They totally mis-spelled satin, didn't they?

  • 39. JonT  |  April 11, 2011 at 10:43 am

    Two thumbs up from me!

  • 40. Lara  |  April 9, 2014 at 9:56 pm

    Articles like this really grease the shafts of knglwedoe.

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